- Post author:Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons)
- Post published:April 27, 2020
- Reading time:7 mins read
- Post category:Personality
Some Myers-Briggs personalities are so rare they deserve closer scrutiny. The INTJ female is one such example.
Making up just under 1% of the world’s population, notable INTJ females include Jane Austen, Susan Sontag, Lise Meitner, and Emily Jane Brontë, to name just a few. So what are the traits of the fascinating INTJ personality?
Traits of an INTJ Female
INTJ stands for Introverted, Intuition, Thinker, and Judgment.
Introverted thinkers
Female INTJs are private individuals who do not act like ‘girly’ girls. They are not interested in being feminine. They don’t care if men notice them for their looks. Instead, they focus on competence and knowledge.
For INTJ women, knowledge is power. They use logic and reasoning over emotions and other people’s feelings. So long as the job is done and done well, it doesn’t bother them if they upset a few people along the way.
They will stand up to authority if they believe authority is wrong. They instinctively know the right way to do things and can get impatient when others need explanations.
Esteem comes from within
INTJ females don’t need validation from other people to raise their self-esteem or confidence. They have an inbuilt sense of self from years of gathering knowledge and gaining qualifications. So it is this that forms her core being and INTJ personality. Not platitudes from friends or lovers.
However, she does enjoy being noticed for her intelligence and will quietly notch up wins in her mental notebook. If she is studying with others, she’ll have to get the best grades. Not to show off, but to prove to herself that she is the best.
A close circle of loyal friends
A woman with the INTJ personality will have a few close friends that she’s known for years, decades probably. These friends know to give her space, and not to take offence at her dry comments. They know not to turn up uninvited and that the best gift to buy for her is a book on whatever she’s currently studying or interested in.
Leads from the back
INTJ females are natural leaders, but not in an alpha-male kind of way. They steer from the back of the room, quietly but purposefully, guiding others to the same conclusions as theirs.
These women don’t care about the court of public opinion. In fact, they’re quite happy sticking their neck out in opposition to the view of the crowd, if they know they’re right. And, they always know they’re right.
Confident and independent
The typical INTJ female is a confident and independent woman who doesn’t need a partner to make her whole. She’s perfectly happy to be on her own. Actually, she’d rather be alone than in a restricting relationship.
Growing up, the INTJ teenager will rebel against what she considers to be unfair and unjust. She’s used to being separate, an outsider if you will. In fact, she has known from an early age she is different.
You can easily spot an INTJ girl at school. When all the other pupils are working on their chosen projects of dogs, cats, or football, she’s engrossed in her electricity project.
Hard exterior, soft centre
But scratch the surface and there’s a wonderful depth to her understanding. If an INTJ woman folds you into her inner circle, it’s likely you’ll never leave or need another friend again. However, you have to break through her tough, self-constructed barrier first. After all, it’s there to protect her fragile heart. Because once this woman falls in love, it’s forever.
So she sets herculean tests to potential suitors. Pass these tests and you will be allowed entry into her sacred inner circle. Those that fail were never her type in the first place.
3 Struggles of an INTJ Female
The INTJ female is a fascinating character. A contradiction, a paradox, a puzzle to be solved if you will. She’s set herself up this way to dispense with those timewasters. She’s full of quirks, qualities, and intriguing traits. But that’s not to say she doesn’t have her own personal struggles in life.
INTJ female at work
I’ve already established that this female doesn’t do well with authority. Especially if she sees incompetence or a better way to do things. A woman with the INTJ personality type is not afraid of calling out the top bosses for their faults. But she won’t understand why this does her no favours with fellow workers.
I mean, doesn’t everyone want the best solution to a problem? Does it matter who comes up with the idea so long as it works? This woman has no guile. She won’t play party politics and although she may get the result she wanted, she’ll be hurt by her colleague’s reactions to her.
The other problem a female INTJ will face is that because of her standoffish nature, people will think she is a snob. Her co-workers may think that she looks down on them. When in fact, the reverse is true. Anyone grafting an honest day’s work has her admiration. It’s laziness that appals her.
INTJ females and friends
Her friends will be few and far between, but she’ll have known them for decades. These friends will be fiercely defensive of her, and they’ll have to be because this female doesn’t take fools gladly.
An INTJ woman also has a dry, dark sense of humour. She delivers her punchlines with aplomb, with her sharp, cutting tongue. Once you get to know her, you get this dark humour. Remember, her humour is one way of weeding out timewasters.
Another point is that an INTJ will want nothing to do with the types who post selfies on social media. Or those who try and garner sympathy from others’ tragedies. She knows that to be a well-rounded person you need validation from the inside, and not other people’s opinions.
INTJ females and relationships
As I said earlier, this woman won’t settle just to be in a relationship. She’d much rather be on her own. A female INTJ may not want children either. Actually, you could say she doesn’t really have a maternal bone in her. But she does love animals. And she may have several pets that she adores.
Men would say this woman is a hard nut to crack. She’ll need a partner that she believes is superior to her. She likes a challenge and, therefore, she can’t date someone of lesser intelligence.
Final Thoughts
I would like to finish with a quote that perfectly sums up the INTJ female:
“And the princess lived happily ever after in her own big castle with all of her own money and she took care of herself. The End.”
Are you an INTJ? Do you relate to the description above? Please share your thoughts with us.
References:
Copyright © 2012-2024 Learning Mind. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.
Like what you are reading? Subscribe to our newsletter to make sure you don’t miss new thought-provoking articles!
Tags: behavior, Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
This Post Has 29 Comments
Monica April 27, 2020 Reply
OMG! This article exactly described who I am, who I’ve been and who I will continue to be. I don’t know what else to say except that I now know there is a specific personality description. I chuckled that it’s a “rare” personality. Wish I had know about my personality years ago as it would have spared me considerable emotional pain because I didn’t understand my difference from others. In recent years I’ve gained “strength” from understanding myself and it does make me a force to be reckoned with by those who are unable to deal with an INTJ female!
JAY April 27, 2020 Reply
Thank you so much for your lovely, inspiring article, I am sharing with my friends on social media. Be safe, be happy, and always be protected by God! 🙂
Alyssa Natale April 27, 2020 Reply
This is totally me to a T and it never fails on any of the tests I always get intj didn’t know I was rare tho what a great article
JAY April 27, 2020 Reply
I believe you are on point with your analysis here, and that strong women are those who were able, and often against great odds, to develop themselves fully. From childhood to adulthood and beyond to a woman’s seniority in adulthood, strength of character and a balance of the person’s male and female aspects to the personality is extremely important, but not always possible. Fortunate are the ones, the girls and women who can and do master their mental, intellectual, emotional and spiritual lives and faculties to the degree with which they can manifest in this world as leaders and not followers. Girls and women who are in some cases most supported by the angels, and God, to contribute to the world in the way they have chosen to contribute something of importance. Not nothing, not poverty or wealth (yes wealth as an obstacle for some, perhaps many), with nothing blocking their evolution and will to create their own lives and make the kind of contribution they were brought here to deliver. We can and are inspired by your post here, and that we may be inspired by others, their thoughts and their self sacrifice and example, to push ourselves forward, at all stages of live, to be the kind of woman who is willing to do those things. To sacrifice other pleasures, let us say, for example, that we could indulge in, in place of doing the necessary work to contribute something of valor, worth, integrity, beauty, and worthiness. Gifting a contribution that only you or I could manifest, maybe all be inspired to be that type of girl, and woman, and older woman who is unafraid of her God given talents, and gifts, and boldly goes toward building additional strength required of her to change this world and for the better. May each one of us, male and female, be oriented toward this kind of vision and understanding, so that our children, and their children and our neighbors in foreign lands as well, create the kind of world we all deserve to live in, which is well on its way to be born. Evolution moves in increments, and does the human race, our challenge is to live up to what the creator of Creators has given us to add more to this world and take less. It is the for some, the heroes path, the shaman’s path, the spiritual as well as military warrior’s path. You decide, we decide for ourselves how we will use the miracle of life we have been given. May each one of us live up to the highest, finest manifestation of what we have been so generously given, not to be perfect angels, but to simply be the best that we can be, and consider the earth, the animals, our families, our friends and lovers; the entirety of what it is we are exposed to and which sustains us, individually and collectively. Respect life, respect others, express love, these kinds of things and then later, if you are so gifted. Use your gift as the above mentioned writers and thinkers have. Imperfect and full of love, we are and should be. The rest of it? The glory is to God. We are just His beloved playthings, after all. Am I right? 🙂 Be safe, be happy and always be protected and grateful to God, who gives us everything and whose divine spark we house and contain in this crazy, wonderful world and in all worlds to come. All the glory goes to God. We just get to play here on earth, and sometimes there is time to give back, as these women, and all women who are leaders and creators have done, from the beginning of time, and moving forward, throughout all the time that exists in the future. In the future of the human race, women will continue to contribute in countless ways to the evolution of mankind. We are the primary creators here on earth, and men, treasured for who they are for being different. Men know it too. Respect for women, children, animals, other men and those who are (often remarkably) different than we ourselves are, can take inspiration in knowing or coming to know the women you write of in your article here. These brave women are complete women, strong and tough, tender and loving, may be all be so generously blessed and willing to transform our essential nature, balance ourselves and change the world for the better. Thank you for your patient in reading this, I feel inspired to my sentiments, and thank you for the platform to do so.
Marcia R. April 27, 2020 Reply
Hello, female INTJ here. I agree with your article however, I would add one comment. There is a type of INTJ that doesn’t fit 100% with the usual descriptions. There’ are a couple of ways to explain this small subgroup. You could call them the turbulent ones or you could describe them as 5w4 in the enneagram system. We have the vast majority of INTJ characteristics but we are …well… more neurotic. We are more sensitive to public opinion, feel time pressure, judge ourselves harshly and have a hidden core that is emotional, romantic, and artistic. We are HSPs too. I wish I had the strong self-esteem of the INTJ-Assertive. Within an MBTI type that is unusual, we are even more unusual. Kinda tough to feel understood. But we manage.
Annette April 27, 2020 Reply
+pol;+.+Marcia, I agree with you, I am an INTJ-T and also HSP. I took several tests at different times and sites which all came up as INTJ , but on 16personalities dot com it gave this difference between Assertive and Turbulent (nice way of putting it). I found myself very much in there. Do you happen to know if you have planets in the 12th house in your astrological chart?
Bonnie Moore April 28, 2020 Reply
Great article! I sometimes test as an INTJ and sometimes as an ENTJ…I’m an Aries and guess it depends on the mood! But, I see a lot of myself in this article…the person who is accustomed to being an outsider, standing up to authority, and who doesn’t like bosses! …the person who is more interested in the way things work than in cleaning the house! I’m 75 years old, so I have lots of stories. In fact, I’m in the middle of writing a novel where the main character is based on me…now I have to use this info to go back and massage her personality with these new insights!
Hadia May 20, 2020 Reply
It seems like someone has written me!
Momone August 25, 2020 Reply
Very well spotted ! Except from one sentence, that really made me hissed…
“She’ll need a partner that she believes is superior to her.” No. No, no, no. An INTJ will never believes than someone is superior to them. People may have outstanding knowledge or abilities in areas where the said INTJ know little, which will lead to admiration and recognition, but in no ways could any INTJ allow anyone thinking that they are superior to them within their inner circle. Especially if that said “superior” person does not recognize the INTJ intelligence nor accept that she can be smarter, at least from time to time.Janey Davies, B.A. (Hons) August 30, 2020 Reply
Hi Momome,
Perhaps the word ‘superior’ was the wrong choice. I meant she needs a challenge, an equal, someone who can match her intelligence and push her to grow. This person would have to know more, be better, she would look up to them, in that sense they would be ‘superior’. She would never date someone ‘less’ than her. The onus is on HER, not her partner. Her partner won’t think he is superior.
JaneyTeine (Dana) Kenney September 17, 2020 Reply
nailed it
Neetu Rajpal October 30, 2020 Reply
This article pretty much sums up in a neat little package what took me decades to figure out about myself. I wish I had learned this by reading it decades ago, it would have saved me so much time. (yes, that is my dark humor to weed out time-wasters 🙂
Bloom January 10, 2021 Reply
OMG! This is infinity percent legit. I tell this because I’m an INTJ-T female.
Carol May 6, 2021 Reply
Yep, I am INTJ-T and I can’t believe how accurately it describes me. I did the test years ago but wasn’t really honest in the answers! I’ve done it many times now, on different sites, all with different questions, and it consistently comes out the same. The 16 personalities site provided me with the Turbulent subset. Two things stood out: 1) I “haven’t a maternal bone ” in my body (I’ve always been repelled by babies and small children) but loves animals (animals over people any day!) and 2) don’t turn up uninvited (and preferably don’t ring me either!)
aJ August 19, 2021 Reply
@Marcia R – spot on. I tend a bit more towards Assertive, because push come to shove, I will default to that, BUT, the inner turmoil, the self esteem – all of that is very turbulent and can be shattered when too much out of my control falls apart. I believe HSP by definitions and tests, which often conflicts with my own mind that doesn’t want to care, which creates further turmoil.
Heart on lockdown – that would be an understatement by this point in my life!
Alexandria (Alex) January 6, 2022 Reply
Well I won’t write a book which we (INTJ’s) are able to do so effortlessly. However I would like to note that for me, an INTJ-A, you are “spot-on”. I’ve read a lot of articles about our personality type and most of them just make me tired 😫.
Thank you for taking the time to acquire this knowledge and share it my disgustingly inquisitive sister’s and I. Lol…Anonymous January 12, 2022 Reply
INTJ-T here. No “maternal bones”? Well, that changed for me. Growing up, I never wanted to hold babies. But my OWN babies? Well, they’re all MINE to love, and hug, and kiss, and read to, and to defend to the death! And nobody around to critique the interactions or to say, “Did you pinch the baby?” whenever she cried!
Kari February 20, 2022 Reply
Me encuentro tan identificada!. Gracias <3
Amanda June 20, 2022 Reply
As I was saying throughout reading this article, this is obscene. Obscenely, scarily accurate. Its great to be understood by someone else but part of me is now getting defensive! There other me’s out there??! Maybe we can connect and take over the world. We would definitely take over the world.
Lori June 25, 2022 Reply
I have had a very hard time with romantic relationships. I am sure I have come off as cold and unfeeling . When I feel the relationship is not working for me or I have been wronged I end it pretty abruptly . I have a very hard time explaining my emotions or see the point in it once I deem a relationship is over . What is the point talking about it because I have made up my mind . I don’t know if others have had this problem.
Aarikja October 1, 2022 Reply
As the song states it, “Strummin my pain with his fingers, telling my life with his words”…Yep, that’s me to a T. I relate to every statement regarding what it is like to be an INTJ female. My greatest nemesis is not being understood. Disrespect me and you are toast, you don’t exist. The deep love, the ability to love is true but most don’t see it or get to revel in it. My happiest times are by myself, gazing at the amazing scenery I’m privileged to see every day, reading something fascinating, learning something new, designing my nest, doting on my pets…yes, this is very spot on.
Aarikja October 2, 2022 Reply
I DO love children though. I have three. Because they are my own, I would die to protect them and keep them safe. The children of other people are cute and adorable but I’m SO glad they aren’t my responsibility. If a person is overly emotive, it makes me ill and I can’t wait to get away from them.
Charlotte February 4, 2023 Reply
Though I think and strategize like a man, I could not be a more feminine looking or acting woman. I am an INTJ who truly”enjoys being a girl.” For me, that’s a plus.
JoAnna February 17, 2023 Reply
I am an INTJ-A and agree with all in this article, except I wanted to be a mother more than anything and love my son very much!! I also love being a woman and kind of girly girl, as I love high-quality clothing, but more of the athletic type and simple in dress, do not wear a lot of heavy makeup or tons of jewelry.
Toolbox Evolution March 15, 2023 Reply
Both this post and the comments were finally so accurate.
To clarify, maternal INTJ for me meant starting to scrutinize the men I knew as “father material” or not. I put an age limit on this in case I happened to intersect any. I didn’t find that in time (or ever really…), but it ultimately changed how I scrutinized men in general with regard to me. I decided that this process makes me a good mother despite never having had any children.
Otherwise, what she meant by “superior” means someone I can’t best. For a man to win my permanent respect and presence in his abode, I’d have to at least have that feeling. As a “tough nut to crack”, occasionally giving me a run for my money will do. I actually dig masculinity.
I have heard that us INTJs (female) are misogynists. Amazingly, I get that. I can’t explain it, but I get it. I just dig all things masculine (including some endeavors), though I am a heterosexual female. I usually lean organically to a male point of view. I can’t explain it, but that’s just what it is.
Alison June 27, 2023 Reply
Mostly right . . . I’m super maternal though. I do have to make myself be cuddly after my kids reach a certain age when I feel like they shouldn’t be so clingy, but I know it’s important, so I do. I think it’s somewhat wrapped up in my belief system and interests though because I’m super interested in child-rearing practices and what childhood lifestyle and parenting leads to the best adult.
Celia June 25, 2024 Reply
This is me to a T, i was always called a Tomboy. i never really got along with other girls, i just couldn’t deal with the constant Drama. the loved it. i despised it, to me, it is an absolute waste of time- my only friends were boys till i met an INFP, a nerd just like me, she is pretty emotional, i try my best to comfort her but it hard for me to relate alot. she’s really nice and i couldn’t ask for a better and more loyal friend!
E July 7, 2024 Reply
As an INTJ I’ve found that I don’t think of myself as an “alpha” personality unless someone brings that up. I simply don’t think about things like that normally, it’s inefficient. I guess thinking about that would depend on the situation. Also, let me distinctly say this. No one should ever decide they don’t need anyone else, they can do everything themselves and they can make it all by themselves. Every person who gets anywhere in life will need to acknowledge that they didn’t get their all by themselves. Someone helped them and then finally, they were able to take over for themselves. So here’s gratitude to the Lord Jesus Christ for helping those who helped/help me, because they couldn’t do it without Him. And here’s gratitude to those who care when it’s a choice and not a feeling sometimes, and here’s acknowledgement to every INTJ who understands what it’s like to need to step outside the box, redefine the box, question the boundaries, make changes to outdated social norms, proceed with love and acceptance for humankind and raise the self-esteem of humanity as a whole and turn back to the best choice this nation ever made and that was following God. And here’s gratitude for those who realize that INTJs really DO want a significant companion relationship with just one person as long as they are both able to treat one another with agreed upon conditions. And here’s gratitude for diversity within INTJs and the ability to think differently which is what we do, and to know that it’s a beautiful perfect place in the world just being yourself and if you prefer a man in your life taking care of you so that you can spend your time on projects and taking care of him and home and and making a difference or pursuing a career but ultimately being able to put him first because he’s doing that for you and he’s the leader… it’s an absolutely beautiful way to be. Because we’re a bright beautiful diverse group of people on this planet and different people want to give of themselves and receive in different ways and everyone should feel ok with what they are raised to think of as right, or ideal in order to function and bless their partner best. It’s also perfectly fine to not want a partner, except in business.
Jane New August 9, 2024 Reply
Reading the article and the comments – yes, you are my tribe. I always thought I wanted children but when I did – I love them, but out of three I really only relate to one, and I suspect he is INTJ too.
I was once told I probably have an avoidant personality. One of the things I love about the Myers-Briggs system is that it doesn’t imply there’s anything wrong you if you are different. I am who I am. I like other people, I’m interested in them, but I find most people very limited. If I ever found a man who challenged me without having the need to put me down or put me a very small, limited box, I’d think about marrying him. Not holding my breath – once was probably enough.
I’d be interested to know if women in this category are also Aspergers/autistic. I’ve read that Aspie women can feel as though they have a male mind in a woman’s body. That sums me up to a tee. I enjoy being a woman, think like a man.
